Why did the Chicken cross the road?

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in
peace.
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DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before
it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we
need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking
on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
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OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across
the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
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GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here.
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ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
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GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
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JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against
it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
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MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had
a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the
price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
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DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
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ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
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JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain side?
That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be
crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
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BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to
the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how
it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish
its life long dream of crossing the road.
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ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
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BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
check book. Internet Explorer is a integral part of eChicken. This
new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C ....
............. reboot.
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ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the chicken?
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BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition
of chicken?
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AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
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DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
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AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.